So yesterday was my first Thanksgiving away from home. It was also, incidentally, the first Thanksgiving I have ever hosted. Hosting and doing some of the cooking was stressful enough, thank god I didn't have to make the turkey!
Coordinating everything, tracking down a turkey, cooking all day -- I feel like everything leading up to Thanksgiving dinner was just one stressful mini-crisis after another. But in the end, things went pretty well, we got food on the table, and the American residents of Grønjords kollegium had a nice traditional American Thanksgiving, complete with turkey and football. Even if I totally hoarded all of the cranberry sauce myself.
Hosting Thanksgiving dinner was kind of a bittersweet thing -- it felt really cool and grown-up to be doing something like that, and we all know how much I love to cook and bake (I made a pie!), but it also felt really wrong to be so far away from my family on a day that has always been so much about family for me.
This year, I am so very thankful for my friends -- those who came to Denmark with me, those who I've met here, and the ones who I still can't imagine life without even if they're a few thousand miles away right now -- and for my family, who have been nothing but supportive, albeit a little bit crazy, about this whole journey. I'm thankful for the opportunity to travel that I've had, and I'm thankful that in less than a month I will be home with the people I love.
Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving, darling readers.
Thankfully,
Rachel Leigh
This is a blog about things, about thinking about things, about talking about things, and about being as snarky and poignant as I can manage. I hope you enjoy it.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Monday, November 12, 2012
On The Right to Slut
Four days ago, a blog post surfaced called "What the Right Doesn't Get About Elections." I am not going to link you to it, mostly because I don't want the asshat's blog to get any more traffic than it already has. What I will tell you is that The Guardian, Gawker, and Jezebel have all done response pieces that use actual excerpts from the post, and you should go find those.
Basically, what the post explains is that Romney lost because Barack Obama won the "Slut Vote," young, unmarried women. These young, unmarried women take birth control, get breast exams and cancer screenings from Planned Parenthood, support their own or other women's rights to have dominion over their own uteri, are poor black women, rich white suburban brats, and single mothers. And they want the government to pay for their "right to Slut."
Now, we've talked a bit about Slut Shaming here before, but let me reiterate what it means, despite the fact that it is not the main purpose of this post. Slut shaming is the idea that a person's worth can be inversely correlated with the number of people they have slept with -- that the more partners or pre- or extra-marital encounters a person has, the less they deserve to be treated like a person. This contributes, in large part, to the disgusting societal idea that a woman who is not a virgin cannot really be raped, that she "was asking for it." Slut shaming is a problem. A person's sexuality does not determine their worth. You totally have a Right to Slut, if that is what makes you happy and seems like the right choice for you. You also have a Right to Abstain, if saving yourself until marriage is something that really matters to you. A person's sexuality, regardless of how it coincides with your personal beliefs, does not determine their worth as a person.
What we're really here to discuss today is Mr. "bskillet"s ideas of what defines a slut. He points to women who are young and unmarried, because "older and married women vote Republican." Clearly, every unmarried woman is a slut who wants the government to subsidize her promiscuity. Despite the fact that many unmarried women either abstain or only have a single partner before they marry. But clearly, SLUTS AHOY. He goes on to say that poor, black women voted for Obama because he supports their rights to get government handouts for the babies they kept and have the government pay for the babies they didn't want. The fact that this disgustingly frames all poor, black women as baby-machines that want to do nothing more than have sex and pop out children so the government will pay for them apparently eludes this man. I also wonder if he's ever met a black woman or if he's only heard from Fox News about what they're like. Actually, I'm just going to expand that to all women.
And theeen we get into my favorites: all women who take birth control or go to Planned Parenthood are irresponsible, promiscuous, rich, white brats. The majority of Planned Parenthood's work includes important medical services like breast cancer screenings. Last I checked, tumors don't care whether you're male, female, sexually-active, or celibate. And free breast exams are the best kind of breast exams.
So not all women who go to PP are whores, but of course, why would you take birth control if you weren't slutting it up all over the place? Well, aside from those women who, again, only have one partner but aren't ready to be parents, married women who are still on the pill because, again, they are unready to be parents, and girls who are exercising their perfectly healthy right to control their own sexuality without the risk of pregnancy? Medical necessity. The most common treatment for ovarian cysts? Hormonal therapy - also known as birth control. Debilitating cramps that leave you out of work or school for days? Birth control. Severe migraines? Some doctors will suggest birth control. Abnormal periods? Birth control. Bad acne, hair loss, breast sensitivity? All can be treated with birth control. There's this funny thing about birth control in that it contains large doses of estrogen and other synthesized female hormones -- which means that it's often exactly the right thing to fix whatever lady-problem you might be having. None of these are problems that "putting an aspirin between your knees" is going to fix.
The takeaways here: not all women are sluts, there's nothing wrong even if they are, and the far Right REALLY needs a lesson in how birth control actually works.
Yours (But Still Entirely Mine),
Rachel Leigh, proud member of the apparent "Slut Vote"
Basically, what the post explains is that Romney lost because Barack Obama won the "Slut Vote," young, unmarried women. These young, unmarried women take birth control, get breast exams and cancer screenings from Planned Parenthood, support their own or other women's rights to have dominion over their own uteri, are poor black women, rich white suburban brats, and single mothers. And they want the government to pay for their "right to Slut."
Now, we've talked a bit about Slut Shaming here before, but let me reiterate what it means, despite the fact that it is not the main purpose of this post. Slut shaming is the idea that a person's worth can be inversely correlated with the number of people they have slept with -- that the more partners or pre- or extra-marital encounters a person has, the less they deserve to be treated like a person. This contributes, in large part, to the disgusting societal idea that a woman who is not a virgin cannot really be raped, that she "was asking for it." Slut shaming is a problem. A person's sexuality does not determine their worth. You totally have a Right to Slut, if that is what makes you happy and seems like the right choice for you. You also have a Right to Abstain, if saving yourself until marriage is something that really matters to you. A person's sexuality, regardless of how it coincides with your personal beliefs, does not determine their worth as a person.
What we're really here to discuss today is Mr. "bskillet"s ideas of what defines a slut. He points to women who are young and unmarried, because "older and married women vote Republican." Clearly, every unmarried woman is a slut who wants the government to subsidize her promiscuity. Despite the fact that many unmarried women either abstain or only have a single partner before they marry. But clearly, SLUTS AHOY. He goes on to say that poor, black women voted for Obama because he supports their rights to get government handouts for the babies they kept and have the government pay for the babies they didn't want. The fact that this disgustingly frames all poor, black women as baby-machines that want to do nothing more than have sex and pop out children so the government will pay for them apparently eludes this man. I also wonder if he's ever met a black woman or if he's only heard from Fox News about what they're like. Actually, I'm just going to expand that to all women.
And theeen we get into my favorites: all women who take birth control or go to Planned Parenthood are irresponsible, promiscuous, rich, white brats. The majority of Planned Parenthood's work includes important medical services like breast cancer screenings. Last I checked, tumors don't care whether you're male, female, sexually-active, or celibate. And free breast exams are the best kind of breast exams.
So not all women who go to PP are whores, but of course, why would you take birth control if you weren't slutting it up all over the place? Well, aside from those women who, again, only have one partner but aren't ready to be parents, married women who are still on the pill because, again, they are unready to be parents, and girls who are exercising their perfectly healthy right to control their own sexuality without the risk of pregnancy? Medical necessity. The most common treatment for ovarian cysts? Hormonal therapy - also known as birth control. Debilitating cramps that leave you out of work or school for days? Birth control. Severe migraines? Some doctors will suggest birth control. Abnormal periods? Birth control. Bad acne, hair loss, breast sensitivity? All can be treated with birth control. There's this funny thing about birth control in that it contains large doses of estrogen and other synthesized female hormones -- which means that it's often exactly the right thing to fix whatever lady-problem you might be having. None of these are problems that "putting an aspirin between your knees" is going to fix.
The takeaways here: not all women are sluts, there's nothing wrong even if they are, and the far Right REALLY needs a lesson in how birth control actually works.
Yours (But Still Entirely Mine),
Rachel Leigh, proud member of the apparent "Slut Vote"
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Sunday, November 4, 2012
On Election Day and the Political Climate
"When we start to imagine those who disagree with us as 'crazy' or 'evil' or 'traitorous,' it becomes difficult to compromise with them and difficult to listen to them; at times it can be even difficult to stay friends with them. And hurling insults instead of having conversations about policy leads to a social order where no one can talk without screaming, and that, more than either candidate's tax plan, is dangerous." --John Green
I'm just going to leave that there. And also remind you that Tuesday is Election Day stateside. Now, being across the freaking ocean means that I actually voted like a month ago, but that doesn't change the fact that all of my American darlings should take the half hour of inconvenience and go vote. (Unless, of course, you are perfectly willing to not complain about ANYTHING your government does or does not do for the next four years: if that's really the way you feel, then your apathy makes me sad, but at least you won't not-vote and then be unhappy with the results.)
You have this one chance every four years (well, two years if you count Congressional elections, but still) - the chance to have a profound impact on the way the government is run for the next four years. And I personally feel like you have a responsibility to act on that chance. If you don't, and the country goes in a direction you dislike, it's kind of your own fault and you have no right to complain.
That being said, in any election, tensions run high, especially the closer to Election Day that you get. It's just that the rhetoric and attitudes behind this election have gotten so divisive that it's honestly worrisome. Right now both major-party candidates remain neck-and-neck in the polls, which means that with the zero-sum political system and the isolating attitudes that surround it, come Wednesday morning, there is a good chance that nearly half the population will feel completely disenfranchised by the results. And that's not good.
Our political system derives its legitimacy from the idea that no matter who you vote for, your interests will still be taken into consideration and, if they're not, you have the chance to change things four years down the road. And I think the attitudes that people have developed towards the opposing parties have undermined this basic faith. Illegitimate governments lead to revolution, so if this happens, I sincerely hope that people's apathy and laziness outweighs their sense of outrage, because otherwise we're looking at four years of serious political turmoil.
Please keep in mind that regardless of who you vote for on Tuesday, you should vote, and remember that the people who don't vote the same way aren't any less human than you are.
Nervously yours,
Rachel Leigh
I'm just going to leave that there. And also remind you that Tuesday is Election Day stateside. Now, being across the freaking ocean means that I actually voted like a month ago, but that doesn't change the fact that all of my American darlings should take the half hour of inconvenience and go vote. (Unless, of course, you are perfectly willing to not complain about ANYTHING your government does or does not do for the next four years: if that's really the way you feel, then your apathy makes me sad, but at least you won't not-vote and then be unhappy with the results.)
You have this one chance every four years (well, two years if you count Congressional elections, but still) - the chance to have a profound impact on the way the government is run for the next four years. And I personally feel like you have a responsibility to act on that chance. If you don't, and the country goes in a direction you dislike, it's kind of your own fault and you have no right to complain.
That being said, in any election, tensions run high, especially the closer to Election Day that you get. It's just that the rhetoric and attitudes behind this election have gotten so divisive that it's honestly worrisome. Right now both major-party candidates remain neck-and-neck in the polls, which means that with the zero-sum political system and the isolating attitudes that surround it, come Wednesday morning, there is a good chance that nearly half the population will feel completely disenfranchised by the results. And that's not good.
Our political system derives its legitimacy from the idea that no matter who you vote for, your interests will still be taken into consideration and, if they're not, you have the chance to change things four years down the road. And I think the attitudes that people have developed towards the opposing parties have undermined this basic faith. Illegitimate governments lead to revolution, so if this happens, I sincerely hope that people's apathy and laziness outweighs their sense of outrage, because otherwise we're looking at four years of serious political turmoil.
Please keep in mind that regardless of who you vote for on Tuesday, you should vote, and remember that the people who don't vote the same way aren't any less human than you are.
Nervously yours,
Rachel Leigh
Thursday, November 1, 2012
On "Teach Me How to Hygge"
As it's getting into those infamous dark, cold Danish winter months (Happy November, by the way), and I've been here for two and a half months now, I think it's time. And maybe also because of a shirt idea that I saw. It's time, of course, to talk about hygge.
Hygge - it's a noun, it's a verb, it's an adjective. You can hygge yourself or be hyggelig with friends. Say it with me: "hygge." Okay, so, because of the absurd number of Danish vowel sounds, let me help you out "Hoo-ga"...except force that first syllable out like you're also trying to say a y or an e at the same time.
My understanding isn't perfect, as I'm relatively certain it couldn't be if you didn't grow up in these Nordic winters, but I understand enough at this point to talk about it a bit. And it's such a huge aspect of Danish culture that I would be doing my darling readers a disservice to not talk about it at least a little bit.
Hygge roughly translates to "cozy" in English, and most Northern European cultures have some versions of the same sort of spirit. It's originally a Norwegian word, though the Norwegian version is more about personal well-being. And apparently in German, the concept of Gemütlichkeit is pretty similar.
From what I can tell, hygge developed mostly as a reaction to the cold, dark winters. The basic idea is to take comfort in being home or with close friends. A hyggelig cafe is one with blankets and big comfy chairs. And candles. You cannot have hygge without candles. One of the Danes that I live with explained that "Staying in with your grandma, drinking tea and watching old movies...that's hygge." A nice piece of wienerbrød (the Danish word for a danish) and a hot cup of coffee as you curl up with friends - that's hygge. The night I spent watching Disaster Preppers with my roommate from UR and the Danes who live on her hall -- okay, probably not hyggelig, but close.
It's all about being warm and happy with the people and things you love as a way to fight off the impending Seasonal Affective Disorder, and it is fundamentally Danish. And I think that's pretty damn cool.
Gettin' hyggelig with it,
Rachel Leigh
Hygge - it's a noun, it's a verb, it's an adjective. You can hygge yourself or be hyggelig with friends. Say it with me: "hygge." Okay, so, because of the absurd number of Danish vowel sounds, let me help you out "Hoo-ga"...except force that first syllable out like you're also trying to say a y or an e at the same time.
My understanding isn't perfect, as I'm relatively certain it couldn't be if you didn't grow up in these Nordic winters, but I understand enough at this point to talk about it a bit. And it's such a huge aspect of Danish culture that I would be doing my darling readers a disservice to not talk about it at least a little bit.
Hygge roughly translates to "cozy" in English, and most Northern European cultures have some versions of the same sort of spirit. It's originally a Norwegian word, though the Norwegian version is more about personal well-being. And apparently in German, the concept of Gemütlichkeit is pretty similar.
From what I can tell, hygge developed mostly as a reaction to the cold, dark winters. The basic idea is to take comfort in being home or with close friends. A hyggelig cafe is one with blankets and big comfy chairs. And candles. You cannot have hygge without candles. One of the Danes that I live with explained that "Staying in with your grandma, drinking tea and watching old movies...that's hygge." A nice piece of wienerbrød (the Danish word for a danish) and a hot cup of coffee as you curl up with friends - that's hygge. The night I spent watching Disaster Preppers with my roommate from UR and the Danes who live on her hall -- okay, probably not hyggelig, but close.
It's all about being warm and happy with the people and things you love as a way to fight off the impending Seasonal Affective Disorder, and it is fundamentally Danish. And I think that's pretty damn cool.
Gettin' hyggelig with it,
Rachel Leigh
On Lessons I Learned From TV
TV taught me how to feel, now real life has no appeal.
Marina and the Diamonds has it right. (Side note: Way to be real world for totally not recognizing my Halloween costume.) I have spent way too much of my life watching television and feeling all the feels. But thinking back on it I've realized I've learned some interesting lessons.
Things TV Taught Me:
- It's Never Lupus. Except when it is. Any House fan out there probably knows this. It's like the fundamental rule of House. I think the real takeaways from this, though, were that a) it's never as bad as it could be and b) no trope is safe from subversion. Because it's never lupus. Except for that one episode where it was totally lupus.
- Don't Mess With the Girl Who Can Kill You With Her Brain. River Tam is smarter than you. She's a better fighter than you. Also, she can kill you with her brain. This crazy lady from Firefly is probably the biggest reason to never break the heart of a smart and emotionally unstable girl. She will find you. She will kill you.
- When You're Sad You Should Stop Being Sad and Be Awesome Instead. Okay, so it's not usually that simple. But I have to give Barney Stinson some credit for this one... Sometimes the best way to get past being sad is to just pretend that you're not sad, force yourself to go do something fun, and let the fun make you actually not-sad. Be awesome instead. Also, a more important lesson from HIMYM: more people should suit up. You look really classy, and I love that. Also NPH is a god.
- Even If You're Completely Nuts, Good Friends Will Love You Anyway. Okay, so this isn't based off of a quote, but seriously. Sheldon Cooper. Gregory House. Donna Noble. Real friends love you for who you are, even if that means you are an absolute psycho sometimes.
- Fictional Characters Are Better At Their Jobs Than Real People. Jed Bartlet. That is all.
- And finally, it doesn't matter if it's non-canon, inappropriate, incest, against their sexual orientation, squicky, or if it involves inanimate objects, bending of fictional universes, or time travel. Somebody Out There Ships It.
I enjoyed this post, and while I was writing it, I started thinking of examples from books and movies, so there is a decent chance there will be future lists based around books and movies.
Your Favorite Couch-Potato,
Rachel Leigh
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