I have always loved video games, but I am terrible at them. Seriously. I think the only game I’ve ever been good at is Mario Party, and that game is about 85% chance. The only game I have ever beaten is Pokemon Yellow and I swear to god if anyone ever accidentally overwrites my game and I have to start over at the beginning I might cry because dammit I worked hard for that.
My favorite game, like any good video game nerd, has always been Ocarina of Time. But don’t let that fool you into believing that I have ever beaten Ocarina of Time. Are you kidding? People who are actually good at video games have a hard time beating the Water Temple. I just kind of sit there the entire game and pathetically whimper trying to play Epona’s Song until someone takes the controller away from me and saves me from my misery.
And what about FPS? I grew up getting shot to death playing Goldeneye 007 with my older brother. I try and play Halo and I end up running in circles because I can barely operate the controls, let alone actually kill somebody.
That has never changed my obsession with games though. I have always loved to watch people play video games, and I have always loved a game with good graphics, a good plot, or copious amounts of CG-bloodshed. The red death screen in an FPS is a guilty pleasure. Also, for some reason I’m obsessed with the countdown to respawn in Halo. Another favorite has always been Grand Theft Auto. I don’t really know why except that maybe I secretly wish I lived a life that involved stealing cars and beating up prostitutes. The world may never know.
I always felt like a bit of a fraud, because I am a professed video game dork. I love them. But because I’m so bad, if it weren’t for the YouTube “Let’s Play” community or growing up with a much more video-game-talented brother, I wouldn’t even know half these games existed. Is it possible to be a nerd for something you’re terrible at?
Also, I may be obsessed with "Still Alive" and "Want You Gone" from the respective endscreens of Portal and Portal 2. Just sayin'.