On Schadenfreude, Falling For Your Best Friend, and Terrible Television

This post is decidedly not intellectual in the slightest. Please do not try to decipher an intellectual or pseudo-intellectual message from within it. I appreciate your cooperation in this matter.

So, my darling readers, as I'm sure you've come to understand, I have an addiction to bad television. And good television. Okay, just television in general. And my roommate does not help with this matter.

Recently added to our repertoire are such delights as Blue Mountain State, which I have to confess is actually ridiculously funny; Ridiculousness, which really just makes me want to lock Rob Dyrdek in a cupboard somewhere until he agrees to stop trying to be Daniel Tosh; and, thankfully, new episodes of South Park which, while mildly offensive and occasionally depressing, give me faith in the world's ability to laugh at itself. But what I really want to talk about is a new show on MTV called "Friend Zone."

The concept is slightly adorable, I confess. A guest on the show comes on and admits that they have feelings for their best friend and would like to take it to the next level (move out of the metaphorical Friend Zone). The episode progresses with the friend helping them to plan a date for "someone special" and then right before the date is supposed to begin, the guest reveals their feelings to their friend, in hopes that the friend will agree to go on the date that was really intended for him/her.

This concept is cute...supposing the friend says yes or returns the feelings. But let's take a moment to look at this a different way -- what if they say no? I have two major complaints here. The first is that it seems incredibly sadistic to watch someone get their heartbroken on national television. This show would be entertaining if the endings were always happy, but to delight in watching some poor kid who put their heart on the line get turned down (and probably ruin a good friendship forever), is a kind of schadenfreude that leads me to worry about the human race. Not that a lot of things don't do that. See Rob Dyrdek's "Ridiculousness" for examples of other things that test my faith in humanity.

My other problem here is that anyone who legitimately cares about your feelings, I would think, wouldn't turn you down on national television. If someone is really your friend and they ask you on a date on a reality show, your thought process should probably be "I may not like him/her like that, but the only thing worse than getting turned down would be getting turned down in front of millions of viewers." And then you suck it up and go on the date...then break the news to them after. Because someone who would knowingly humiliate a good friend on television probably needs a lesson or two in what being a friend entails. Like, y'know, a bit of self-sacrifice and some compassion for the people you supposedly care about.

Just my input. Anyone with some quality/terrible TV suggestions, I would love to hear them!

Lovingly yours,
Rachel Leigh

On Things That Taste Better Than Skinny Feels

My darling readers, things annoy me. (Wait, really?)

There's this phrase that floats around the thinspo students of the internet. Thinspo, in case you're unaware, is the process of people (usually girls) who are attempting to lose weight in either healthy or unhealthy ways (usually unhealthy) providing themselves with "thinspirational" images, quotes, and life advice to help keep them on track.

The quote is that











My problem with thinspo comes from not the idea itself, but from the ways in which it has been perverted to encourage girls to starve themselves to be some bizarre definition of perfect.

I've seen some pretty decent advice on how to keep yourself on track for a diet...and I've seen some disturbing things. Like "if you're hungry, eat naked in front of a mirror and see how much of an appetite you have then." A lot of the advice not only allows girls to hate themselves but encourages a sense of self-loathing as a motivator. Which is twisted.

There are times when I use thinspo on the internet...as a reminder to keep my body issues in check. I may not like my tummy and I may weigh a little more than I would like, but seeing images of girls who are verging on emaciated and reading advice that encourages me to despise the way I look and the person I am reminds me that I need to keep it in perspective.

And by the way, anyone who says nothing tastes as good as skinny feels has obviously never had bacon.

Deciding not to skip dessert,
Rachel Leigh

So I decided that I really hated the old color scheme for the blog. I'm still not particularly happy with the end result, but I had to revamp everything to get rid of that atrocious pink-and-green monstrosity.

I feel like the new design is slightly juvenile, but I'm currently going with it as a temporary solution to a lasting problem. I don't want anything to interfere with content, so I hope the redesign helps.

Love you all,
Rachel Leigh

P.S., I am SO hungry.

On College

Vague title is vague. I couldn't think of a better one.

Hello my darlings. As you probably are already aware, last year was my freshman year of college. Over the summer, I worked at a College and Career Adviser's office as an intern. Between that and the number of my friends who were just graduating and now headed off to their freshman years, I got a lot of questions about what advice I would give to incoming freshmen.

What I found funny was the fact that most people seemed surprised by the fact that my first two pieces of advice were "Do your homework between classes" and "Don't wear a lanyard."

But those two pieces of advice (and a few very similar rules) are what allowed me to survive my freshman year, and actually really enjoy it. So, I guess this post is about the rules of being a freshman. (Blame TheCollegeTownLife.com for the fact that I've been thinking about this.)

1. Do Your Homework Between Classes. Or on weekends. Or early in the afternoon. The point is, do it when you have time and are already on a roll. I very rarely get overwhelmed with my workload, and I can say I attribute that to getting my work done when I have time. Plus, if your work is already done by 5 o'clock in the afternoon, there's nothing stopping you from joining your friends downtown, going out for the night, or vegetating watching television later. You have the time if you're willing to make the time.
2. Reward Yourself. College is hard. Sometimes you need a little motivation. Many long hauls in the library or unpleasant assignments have been made a little easier by promising myself that "If I finish this, I can get sushi for dinner" or "I've been working so hard, I deserve a shopping trip." Small rewards tend to make a huge difference in my motivation to get things done.
3. Don't Wear A Lanyard. Or an absurd amount of school memorabilia. Don't walk around asking for directions. Basically, don't do things that make you stand out as a freshman. People tend to have a problem with freshmen. Honestly, most of us are jealous of how relatively easy your workload is and how much time you have ahead of you (also of the fact that pretty much any stupid decision can be explained away by letting people know you're a freshman). But people do tend to treat you differently as a freshman, and life is a lot easier when you don't do things that draw attention to the fact that you are one.
4. Do What Makes You Happy and the Rest Will Follow. Friends? Extra-curriculars? Going Greek or choosing not to? Major decisions? These all seem like major stress factors, and they're all certainly decisions and milestones you will have to reach. But if you start out by trying everything that sounds interesting and doing what makes you happy, then finding friends who have similar interests, joining clubs, rushing or not rushing, and declaring will all come a little bit easier (and will be a lot less stressful).
5. SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK. This is college. You're kidding yourself if you think something doesn't need to be thrown off the boat. There is only so much time in the day for eating, sleeping, studying, hanging out, working, getting involved, volunteering, and anything else you need to do. Something's gotta give. I suggest sleep. Full-on insomnia is never a good thing, but save the mid-day naps for breaks, weekends, and after exams.

I guess that's my tentative advice for freshmen.

Sophomorically Yours,
Rachel Leigh

On Stigma and Mean Girls

My darling readers.

I am a member of UR’s chapter of Active Minds, a national organization that seeks to reduce the stigma against mental illness and promote more mentally healthy campuses around the country. (Actually, I’m the co-president of the chapter, but that’s really not important).
What is important is that today is October 3rd.

Now, for Mean Girls fans out there, the fact that it’s October 3rd is important because it’s the day that Aaron Samuels will ask what day it is. It’s October 3rd.

On the other hand, the reason October 3rd matters in the context of Active Minds revolves around the fact that today is the National Day Without Stigma.

50 million people suffer from a mental illness every year (1 in 4), and of those who suffer, only 25% will seek treatment or therapy of some form. This all comes back to the stigma against mental illness. People who suffer from a mental health problem or mental health disorder are seen as “crazy,” and because people think they’re crazy, it prevents them from wanting to seek help.

1 in 4 people means that you probably have friends, family, coworkers, teachers, and peers who are suffering without your knowledge. And the persisting stigma against mental illness will prevent 75% of these people, people you care about, from seeking help because they worry that people will judge them. People worry that seeking mental help will prevent them from getting jobs, getting into good schools, forming personal relationships, or being respected. And it all comes back to stigma. People shouldn’t have to worry what people will think of them for seeking treatment for their mental illness, or even for having one. They should worry about learning to manage it so they can live happy and successful lives.

Today, as a national organization, we come together to spread awareness and fight the stigma. But one day’s worth of advocacy isn’t the solution. Every day, we, as a society, need to work towards making people feel safer, advocating self-awareness and treatment, and being good friends to the people we care about, particularly if they have the courage to admit they’re suffering.

Lovingly yours,
Rachel Leigh

On Bad TV and Life in General

Okay, my darling readers, I am SO sorry. I have been a horrible horrible blogger. It is now September, which I believe means I've gone two months without a post.

My last 6 weeks or so have consisted of logic, economics, Ancient Greek philosophy, club meetings, bizarre trips to downtown Richmond, wonderful amounts of sushi, and bad television.

A lot of bad television.

My roommate and I go back and forth between watching MTV, Comedy Central, and the GOP debates. I don't know which I have a harder time taking seriously. I might be kind of obsessed with Awkward, and Fox's new series New Girl just deepens my unhealthy obsession with Zooey Deschanel.

I think, though, that the most entertaining aspect of our television-watching is definitely the running list of GOP/Tea Party debates. They are far too entertaining. I find Michele Bachmann to be one of the most entertaining examples of human insanity I have ever seen ever. Making the back-asswards statement that HPV vaccinations have been linked to "retardation" (which will never be politically correct, nor will it ever be factually accurate) is just so ludicrous that I cannot even begin to comprehend it. Ms. Bachmann, you entertain me.

Vegetatingly yours,
Rachel Leigh

On Making Drama "Facebook Official"

Today, I want to talk about two little words. "It's. Complicated." People who list their facebook relationship status as "It's complicated" confuse me.

First of all, it's complicated can mean a lot of things. "We're dating, and it's kind of serious, but it's kind of not." "He thinks we're together, but so does he. Oh, and him too." "I love you, but I'm just not in love with you, as a matter of fact, I think the entire idea of dating is just some part of the archaic, consumerist, misogynist patriarchy designed to keep women in their place and reinforce rigid gender stereotypes." "Love is too mainstream."

Whatever. Point is, people in healthy relationships do not describe their situations as "It's complicated." And I don't mean that somebody asks how your relationship is going, and then you respond that "It's complicated." Because sometimes it is. But why would someone choose to broadcast to the world that their situation with someone is currently so screwed up that the only way to describe it is "It's complicated?"

Realistically, I think it's because people are so afraid to appear single that they would rather admit that they can't figure their crap out than not have everyone in the world know that they're hooking up with someone.

I'm personally the kind of person that thinks that, if the only way you can feel like there's any legitimacy to your relationship is publishing it on facebook, there are deeper issues at hand than "It's complicated" can sum up.

It's NOT that complicated,
Rachel Leigh

On Data, Logic, and Summer Camp

Ad hoc, ergo propter hoc.

Forgive me for taking Philosophy classes when I was younger. Forgive me for being a dork about logical fallacies. And forgive me for the fact that I am always, therefore, hesitant to assume that just because two things have a numerical correlation, they must be related.

This fallacy translates to "with this, therefore because of this." It is probably the most irritating, in my opinion, of all fallacies, and I have to note a problem here. A consulting/research firm called Hunch released survey information recently that showed a correlation between kids who went to summer camp and kids who have seen a therapist and announced that "Hunch users who went to summer camp were 13% more likely to patronize a therapist."


http://hunch.com/explore/prospect/report/?e1=671884&e2=785033

Excuse me, HOW are these related? At all? Yes, I went to summer camp. And yes, I have sought care from a therapist. Do I think the two are at all related? No. There are about 30 different factors that, quite honestly, contribute to seeking a therapist aside from attending a summer camp.

First of all, there's the possibility that a student who was sent to summer camp was sent because both parents were working which, admittedly, could cause some emotional instability in a child needing more attention. But, quite frankly, I'd attribute this correlation to what is actually a positive factor: the kind of parent who would send their child to summer camp because they want what's best for their child is, in my opinion, also probably the kind of parent who would more likely advocate that their son or daughter seek help when they're struggling with something. Which, I think, ultimately shows a more positive environment than a negative one.

Hunch presents this information as if going to summer camp is in some way emotionally scarring. And I'm sure it could be, as much as going to the circus can be mentally scarring for a child with an irrational fear of clowns or going to visit a family member can be emotionally scarring for someone who has been sexually abused. It doesn't mean that going to the circus or visiting family are universally scarring experiences. But if this little piece of survey information, framed in the logically unsound manner it has been, gets out, parents may decide to stop sending their children to summer camp.

And I can tell you that the summers I spent at camp are some of the best memories and healthiest experiences I have ever had, and it bothers me that a company that specializes in statistics and analyses of human behavior could so blatantly misguide people about the data they're presenting.

Irritatingly yours,
Rachel Leigh

My day today has consisted of baking 5 dozen cookies and watching True Blood. I need to do more things.

On CG Bloodshed, Beating Up Hookers, and My Obsession with GLaDOS

Confession:

I have always loved video games, but I am terrible at them. Seriously. I think the only game I’ve ever been good at is Mario Party, and that game is about 85% chance. The only game I have ever beaten is Pokemon Yellow and I swear to god if anyone ever accidentally overwrites my game and I have to start over at the beginning I might cry because dammit I worked hard for that.

My favorite game, like any good video game nerd, has always been Ocarina of Time. But don’t let that fool you into believing that I have ever beaten Ocarina of Time. Are you kidding? People who are actually good at video games have a hard time beating the Water Temple. I just kind of sit there the entire game and pathetically whimper trying to play Epona’s Song until someone takes the controller away from me and saves me from my misery.

And what about FPS? I grew up getting shot to death playing Goldeneye 007 with my older brother. I try and play Halo and I end up running in circles because I can barely operate the controls, let alone actually kill somebody.

That has never changed my obsession with games though. I have always loved to watch people play video games, and I have always loved a game with good graphics, a good plot, or copious amounts of CG-bloodshed. The red death screen in an FPS is a guilty pleasure. Also, for some reason I’m obsessed with the countdown to respawn in Halo. Another favorite has always been Grand Theft Auto. I don’t really know why except that maybe I secretly wish I lived a life that involved stealing cars and beating up prostitutes. The world may never know.

I always felt like a bit of a fraud, because I am a professed video game dork. I love them. But because I’m so bad, if it weren’t for the YouTube “Let’s Play” community or growing up with a much more video-game-talented brother, I wouldn’t even know half these games existed. Is it possible to be a nerd for something you’re terrible at?

Also, I may be obsessed with "Still Alive" and "Want You Gone" from the respective endscreens of Portal and Portal 2. Just sayin'.

Geeking out,
Rachel Leigh