On Major Life Decisions

"Everyone I know is getting married or pregnant. I'm just getting more awesome."

~Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother

Okay, hold the phone.  Who told everyone around me that it was okay to start getting engaged and married or popping out babies?  When did I miss the memo on this whole life-changing-decisions thing?

I feel like I've got my life in order when both my socks match and I wake up before noon.  How is it possible that people my age are making these huge decisions about spending the rest of their lives with someone?  Or multiple someones, apparently.

I guess I'm torn, because I've read a number of things about how this generation is wasting our 20s, because we think we have our whole lives ahead of us to make these huge decisions, so it doesn't matter if we don't settle down or figure our lives out.  And I rationally know that that really just isn't the case.  But I don't feel like I'm emotionally or personally ready to start making those kinds of choices.

And I think a lot of this comes down to another big difference between Denmark and the States -- because in Denmark, most people don't get married until their 30s, at least, and most people older than I am are still in college and figuring out their lives.  And I feel like that shouldn't be a crime.  But unfortunately, in our system, it seems like not having everything figured out already puts you behind the 8-ball.

So now I'm suddenly having these visions of browsing the Help Wanted ads and spending my nights searching cheap dating sites (since my broke, unemployed, imaginary butt clearly couldn't afford the good ones), taking care of cats that somehow came into my possession, hoping to figure out my life.  And it seems like it's way too soon for those kinds of thoughts.

I guess I'm just not sure if everyone else is moving too fast or if I'm just going too slow to keep up, but either way, my head is spinning and something seems off.  I really just want to watch some cartoons and play with Legos.

Peter Pan-ing with the best of 'em,
Rachel Leigh

On Happiness

It's been a month and a half back stateside, and today in class my professor brought up the fact that the Danes are the happiest people in the world.  Now, I've spent years trying to be the best possible version of myself.  The problem, I think, is that what I've considered the "best" version of myself has varied greatly at different times in my life.

I think at this point, my goal is just to try to be happy and to do the best I can within those confines.  And, for that, I'm trying to pull some lessons from my time in Denmark.

So, without further ado, Rachel's Keys to Happiness (The Danish Way):

• Don't Try to Do or Be Everything: This is completely antithetical to the UR way of life, and I know that.  I go to a school of over-achievers and the over-involved.  But from now on, I'm going to try and stick to only those things that I have the time to do and do well, rather than beating myself up for not having three majors, two minors, and being the president of six clubs.
• Don't Forget to Take Care of Yourself: I've noticed I feel a lot better about myself when I take the time to take care of myself -- to eat foods that make me feel good, drink enough water, work out.  They take up time, but I end up feeling like an entirely different person.
• Don't Judge Yourself in Comparison to Others: Thank you Jantelov.  This set of the tenets of Danish life come down to "Don't think you're better or smarter or more deserving than anyone else"...but at the same time realizing that it means you're no less of those things either.
• Don't Take Life Too Seriously: If there's one thing I really learned from the Danes, it's that when it comes to joking, nothing is off limits.  And not taking life or any one aspect of it too seriously is a struggle that I need to remind myself of on a regular basis -- but one that will ultimately leave me a lot less stressed and a lot happier.
• Don't Be Afraid to Take Some Time: Danes put off going to college longer than we do.  Danes put off marriage and kids longer than we do.  And that time to make the big decisions, I think, probably gives you some analytical distance and maturity to help make those decisions when the time is right.  I'm not as a afraid to not know RIGHT NOW what I want or need to do.
• LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS: The secret to happiness is low expectations. Seriously.

So that's the life goal right now -- live life just a bit more Danish (and embrace the happy that hopefully follows).  So I have the keys... now I just have to look for the locks.

Keyed in,
Rachel Leigh

On Exam Week: Danish Edition and Eight Days

Well, it's that time of the semester again -- time for my Exam Week post!  Exam Week: Denmark Edition.

It's hard to believe it's already that time of the semester - four months has gone by so fast that it almost makes my head spin.  I've been in five countries, eight cities, and four airports in the last four months.  I've watched the days in Denmark go from never-ending summer nights (no seriously the sun didn't set until like 10 pm) to three hours of daylight (if you're lucky and it isn't overcast).  I've gone to the ballet at the Royal Theatre, a beer tasting at one of only seven Trappist breweries in the world, a party at the EU (although that was kind of a trainwreck because there were issues with wiring and food, whoops), and more.  And I've met some truly amazing people.

Yesterday, someone asked me what my favorite memory of this semester was.  It's a pretty close call.  The single greatest moment, potentially one of the greatest moments of my life, was right before Halloween.  We went to the Halloween village at Tivoli, and there is a ride at Tivoli called the Himmelskibet or Star-Flyer.  It's a really tall swing ride.

It looks kind of like that.

Anyway, it was dark, and we went up on the ride.  When we got to the top, I could see the entire city of Copenhagen, all lit up, and it felt like we were flying over it.  It was absolutely magical.

The other competitor for my favorite memory was sitting in Grand Place is Brussels on our long study tour.  It was our first day there, sunny and warm, and a bunch of groups were picnicking in the square.  We had some time to kill, so we found a Belgian specialty beer shop and a chocolate shop, and grabbed some drinks and chocolate and just sat in the square, enjoying the weather and the wonderful opportunity we had to take a trip with our core class.

It's been amazing to think how this semester has flown by, and while I am really excited to get home to my friends, family, and a phone plan that doesn't charge me 50 cents a text message or decide to sporadically not work, there will be some things I will really miss about Denmark and my time here.  I'm just going to have to work hard to bring the best parts of my time abroad home with me.

Now, I really need to stop procrastinating on working on my international law paper.  Except not really.  Who assigns a paper due Christmas Eve (Heidi, if you somehow find this, you are a wonderful professor and I love your class, but REALLY?)?  Eight days left to pack, study, write, Hobbit, and get in all the sightseeing I still haven't done.

For those my darling readers suffering through Exam Week out there: Good luck, stay sane, and remember that it will be fine (and if it's not, at least it's over).

Procras-Dane-ating,
Rachel Leigh

On My Psychotic Resume

If, in addition to being one of my darling readers, you happen to be friends with me on Facebook, then you probably know that two weeks ago, I was obsessing over my resume and the fact that my job history makes NO sense.

Honestly, I blame that mostly on necessity -- I took the jobs that were available because I needed them, and I took the opportunities that were there because they were there.  So much of what they teach us in school/college these days revolves around preparing for your future: you need work experience in high school because it looks good on your college applications, then you need internships and good grades in college because they look good for graduate school.  And god forbid, you don't get that summer internship in DC because then how will you ever rise to the top of the Democratic Party and then become the youngest President in U.S. history?  And they drill this into us.  Even today, at the orientation I had to attend to study abroad in the fall, they stressed thinking about how this experience will relate to your future career plans.

Which is why I say my resume makes no sense.  There is literally NO cohesion between one entry and the next.  I've gone through 9 different jobs and internships, some paid, some unpaid.  Mostly paid.  I took a minimum wage job because I needed the money.  I took an internship for a science museum because it was offered to me.  I've been a camp counselor and an office monkey, a research intern and a writing consultant.  And I don't want to hide any of it.  Those weird jobs and internships made me who I am.  Thanks to that weird resume, I have worked alongside dinosaurs, improved my communication skills (and to some degree, my patience), learned how to decorate cakes, learned way more about the human spine than I think I ever needed to know, gotten passionate about how terrible mental health care is at highly competitive universities, learned to mine a client database, and been background checked more times than most kids my age.  I wouldn't be the potential employee I am, or the blogger I am, or the person I am if I hadn't had so many odd experiences that weren't supposed to relate to my future plans.

And so I think it's kind of messed up that there's this drive to already know what you want to do with your life and have it all figured out.  I think it's crazy that you're expected to already be set on this path and ready to go from before you even go to college.  I still have no idea what I want or how any of the crazy jobs or hobbies I've had in the past will relate to what I decide to do.  But I want to do them.  All of them.  Just because there's no way to know how they might shape who I turn out to be.

Wandering, but not lost,
Rachel Leigh