On Aunt Flo and Things We're Not Supposed to Talk About

We're going to talk about something that's going to alienate my male readers for a bit.

Periods.

And that is precisely why we're going to talk about them.  Because we don't talk about them.  Because half the world's population has them or has had them.  And they're perfectly natural and normal and, y'know, actually a good thing for your body, and women are expected to treat them like a dirty little secret.

I watched a video the other day about stupid things women have to deal with, and one of the things it mentioned was having to sneak a tampon to the bathroom.  I'll be the first to admit, I'm embarrassed to have to buy "feminine hygiene products"...especially from a male clerk.  But my question becomes why?  Why is there a taboo against a natural, healthy, normal thing?  Just because it's a little gross?  Yeah, well, so are farts, but it's something you can't control and, I've noticed, most guys don't feel bad about doing in public anyway.

Now, I am by no means saying you have to love your period.  Is it a great sign that everything's hunky-dory in your endocrine system?  Absolutely.  In fact, it's a great indicator that you're eating right, your ladybits are all in order, and that you're not too stressed, as any of those can affect the frequency or heaviness of your period.  But, let's be serious, periods can really suck.

Aside from having to spend several days crafting schemes to somehow get everything you need into the bathroom without anyone noticing, there's all the crazy stuff that happens to your body.  I had a (male, obviously) friend once tell me that there has been no medical link found between PMS hormones and mood swings (and that therefore the mood swings are all in your head).

My response was to look him in the eyes and tell him that, even if that were true, there are plenty of not-in-our-head reasons for mood swings on your period.  PMS hormones cause bloating, fatigue, bizarre food cravings, headaches, breast sensitivity, cramps, nausea, and a whole host of unfortunate physical happenings.  So, no, maybe my emotions are not directly impacted by the change in hormones.  But tell me how you feel when you're sore and tired, feeling fat because your clothes don't fit right, and still can't stop yourself from craving potato chips.  Like I said, periods suck.

But just because they suck and are maybe a little bit gross doesn't mean we shouldn't talk about them.  It's just another one of those things we're taught not to talk about because it's not polite -- but then how do you know what a warning sign is for when something isn't right?  Period problems can get really out of hand, and it's important that we be okay enough as a society that when a girl's health is at risk, she isn't ashamed to talk about the fact that it's her time of the month.  Also, it would be nice to not have to bring my purse to the bathroom every day for a week.  Thanks.

Your Friend (the PMS Tiger (great meme, look it up)),
Rachel Leigh

On My Plans for Valentine's Day

This week is the Vagina Monologues, which in addition to being a great time with an amazing group of women, is one of my favorite times of the year because it allows me the opportunity to make people extraordinarily uncomfortable by yelling at them about vaginas.

 Now, the reason I enjoy making people uncomfortable by yelling at them about vaginas is not simply because I like making people uncomfortable.  The fact is that I like pointing out the ways in which your discomfort doesn't make sense.  The word "vagina," and the legions of college girls yelling about them in the Student Commons, are considered weird or offensive because we are taught from a very young age that vaginas and the things they do and the things they're used for ought to be shameful and secretive.  All you need to know to know that is to look at the ways a girl will go out of her way to hide the fact that she's on her period -- which is, y'know, entirely out of our control and completely natural.

So girls are taught that our bits are supposed to be secrets that ought to be kept quiet, out of sight, and out of mind.  But while it's weird and disconcerting for women to be tabling about their vaginas (and, more honestly, about the violence which is perpetrated against those people who possess them), it's totally fine for men to be yelling about testicular cancer or to draw penises in public.  But people see our weird emoticon-vaginas on our posters and think they're creepy and wrong.

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For the record, they look like that.  Is that weird?

So, yes, I will continue to yell at you, professor who is refusing to make eye contact, about the wonders of vaginas and the things we say about them and the things we don't say about them (the things that lead to illness and violence because we're AFRAID or ashamed to talk about them), because I want to force you to think about why exactly the most quintessential piece of female human anatomy should be seen as creepy or wrong.  I mean, yeah, I get that they're all flaps and doo-dads, but I'll keep yelling about them Until the Violence Stops.

Yours in Vagina-Love,
Rachel Leigh

For the record, any one in the area of the University of Richmond, the show is the 13th, 14th, and 15th in the Pier (Tyler Haynes Commons) at 9 pm. You can get tickets, t-shirts, or chocolate vagina lollipops in the Commons every day.

On Holding it Together...and Faking it When You Can't

Do you ever have one of those days?  One of those days where literally nothing from the moment you wake up goes right and you're pretty sure that if someone looks at you the wrong way, you'll probably either scream, cry, vomit, or potentially all three at once?

This is not to say that today was one of those days, but god, do I have those days.  Waking up feeling like there are small jackhammers taking turns at the inside of your skull and knowing that no amount of sleep will ever make this better.  Going to class and getting an assignment back only to realize you completely bombed it.  The dining hall's bad and it's raining and if you had the opportunity to just fast-forward through this day to the next one, you would take it in an instant.

Well, thankfully, I've developed some coping mechanisms for days like these...as well as some ways to at least appear like you're coping.

1. Comfort Food:  This is no new discovery, but there are very few things in the world that comfort food can't at least make infinitesimally better.  I'm a big fan of soup and grilled cheese.
2. Caffeine: I may hate today.  I may want to punch the sun for being out when I'm in a bad mood.  But a little caffeine kind of forcibly perks you up.  It's hard to stay angry when there's liquid chemical happiness energy coursing through your bloodstream at roughly twice your normal heart rate.  It kind of makes me want to go run a mile or six.  Haha, I lied, nothing makes me want to run six miles.
3. Dress Up: No really.  This is my go-to way to push through when I feel like absolute crap.  At the very least, other people will THINK you feel awesome, and the positive energy that you get back from that will help.  Plus, inside tip -- dresses are the best thing ever.  They always look put-together and all you have to do is take them off the hanger and put them on. Also, sunglasses.  Learn it.  Love it.

So that's how I survive.

Holding it together,
Rachel Leigh

On This Little Thing Called "Slut-Shaming"

Sub-title: "Why Rush Limbaugh is Still a Big, Fat Idiot"

I'm sure you've all heard about Rush Limbaugh and Sandra Fluke.  If you haven't, it basically boils down to "Fat, old white guy with a radio show calls a Georgetown Law Student a slut and a prostitute because she wants government health care to cover contraception and therefore, in his mind, wants the government and tax payers to pay for her to have sex."


This guy.

Leaving out the fact that Rush clearly doesn't understand how birth control works or the plethora of reasons outside of sexual activity that a woman might be using birth control (in a Congressional hearing, Fluke cited her friend who is on the pill to treat ovarian cysts), there's another issue at hand here.

Let's talk briefly about something called "slut shaming."  Because really, that's what Rush is doing here.  Slut shaming is the idea that a woman can be judged as a person in virtue of whether or not, and the extent to which, she is sexually active.  It directly correlates the value of a woman with whether she is sexually active and ties her into a system that my spiritual guide, the late John Hughes, describes as a "double-edged sword."

 "Well, if you say you haven't, you're a prude. If you say you have you're a slut. It's a trap. You want to but you can't, and when you do you wish you didn't, right"

The idea that a woman can be judged for her sexuality relates back to a culture that believes that a woman who isn't a virgin can't be raped, or that a woman who's sexually active in her own right is "asking for it."  And Rush, your comments -- your idiotic comments which equate the desire to have a medical expense covered by your insurance policy (which I know is a horrifying concept) with prostitution and a foray into internet porn -- contribute to this horrible excuse for a justification.  So, congrats.  You're an ass.

Fumingly yours,
Rachel Leigh