On Grammar and Tone

This post is probably going to come across as a little silly.  And also SUPER NERDY.  Bear with me.

I hate exclamation points.

!
Look at it. It's hideous. It's so ostentatious.

This might seem strange to some of you who have interacted with me in person, since I am typically a pretty enthusiastic person.  I have absolutely no problem with exclamations in verbal speech.  You have every right to your enthusiasm.

But I find exclamation points in the written word extremely irritating.  To me, they're kind of the
(sarcasm font, once we figure out how to do that) of enthusiasm.  Realistically, if you are properly excited about something, the words you use should convey that all on their own.  Instead, ending sentences, especially in formal writing, with exclamation points comes across as...half-hearted.  Look at me! See how excited I am! Even though no other part of what I'm saying conveys any sense of excitement! I'm using exclamation points because they're a shortcut to fun!
Now, I think they're fitting in some circumstances.  The difference between "Happy Birthday." and "Happy Birthday!" when relying solely on non-verbal cues can be huge, since most people interpret the first as rather flat and unexcited.  However, when not operating solely on brevity, one shouldn't need !!!!!! to convince them that "Happy Birthday. I hope it is every bit as wonderful and joyful as you deserve." is happy, enthusiastic, and sincere.

Punctuation matters in setting a tone in writing.  But the fact is that, too often, it is a short-hand for actual verbal expression.

Also, people who overuse exclamation points are typically just way too happy for my tastes and probably need to get rained on.  Sorry about it.

Unenthusiastically yours,
Rachel Leigh

On "Nerd or Hipster?"

Big, thick-rimmed glasses used to be a pretty big giveaway that someone was a nerd.  Combine that with a button-up shirt, pocket protector, and pants that are a bit too short, and suddenly the "Revenge of the Nerds" theme song starts playing in the background.  But thanks to the advent of hipsters, who also seem to rock the too-short pants and the heavy-framed glasses, it's become a bit harder to tell the difference.  So, as promised by an earlier post, let me teach you how to tell if that guy you've just spotted is a nerd or a hipster.

• If he looks like he hasn't showered in the last week: hard to call. Potentially either.
• If he's rocking the "computer tan," that absurdly pale complexion that only comes from spending far too long inside (we're pretty sure at this point that eventually the screen sapping the tan from your skin as a form of ritual sacrifice): Definitely a nerd.
• If he's wearing a My Little Pony shirt:
• Ironically: Hipster
• Unironically: Brony. Run.
• If he references a band you've never heard of: Hipster
• UNLESS it's K-Pop, J-Rock, J-Pop, or from the soundtrack of any major video game, in which case Nerd.
• If he kind of looks like Skrillex: Hipster. Also likely a girl.
• If he references Star Wars, Harry Potter, Back to the Future, or ANY movie in the strain of WarGames, Hackers, or Revenge of the Nerds: Nerd. Also, he has great taste in movies and you should probably ask him out like right now.
• If he references any movie by Wes Anderson: Hipster. Also, he has great taste in movies too.  (Hey, I'm just a fan of good movies.)
• If he's wearing a wolf t-shirt
• And looks like a member of a one-man wolfpack: Nerd.
• And pairs it with a pack of Parliaments/Spirits and an ironic sense of humor: Hipster

And thus ends another horribly stereotypical post from me.  For the record, I love both nerds and hipsters, but sometimes this is a legitimate question (and also a game I frequently play when people-watching).

If anyone is interested in another one of these kinds of posts, let me know!

DFTBA,
Rachel Leigh

On "Gay or Hipster?"

I like art and music.  As such, I often find myself in places full of hipsters.  As such, when I'm at a concert, or an art show, or even just out with friends, if I see a well-dressed, reasonably attractive guy, I'm confronted with a question -- is he gay or just a hipster?  (This is not, of course, to mean that the two are mutually-exclusive.)  As such, I've decided to give you, my darling readers, a list of possible ways to tell the difference.

• If he's wearing a bow-tie:
• And looks like Doctor Who or a lumberjack: hipster.
• And looks like Blaine Anderson: probably gay.
• If he compliments your taste in music: probably a hipster.
• UNLESS it's Lady Gaga, Cher, or Madonna, in which case, probably gay.
• If he admits to appreciating Carly Rae Jepsen un-ironically: either gay or a frat boy, but definitely not a hipster
• If he's at a museum:
• With his mother: avoid at all costs.
• With his girlfriend: hipster (and likely whipped)
• With his boyfriend: gay (duh)
• If he's wearing a "SOME __ MARRY ___.  GET OVER IT." t-shirt: gay.  Or just awesome.  Or both.

And now that I've offended a good number of people, we'll end this list.  Feel free to email or comment with more ways to tell the difference, and make the lives of single girls who are attracted to well-dressed men everywhere easier.  Because in a world of Neil Patrick Harrises, Matt Bomers, Tyler Oakleys, and more, we need to stand a fighting chance.

Tune in again for "Nerd or Hipster" when I tell you how to know if that guy in the wolf t-shirt is doing so ironically or because he's a member of a one-man wolfpack.

Best of luck,
Rachel Leigh