On Happiness

It's been a month and a half back stateside, and today in class my professor brought up the fact that the Danes are the happiest people in the world.  Now, I've spent years trying to be the best possible version of myself.  The problem, I think, is that what I've considered the "best" version of myself has varied greatly at different times in my life.

I think at this point, my goal is just to try to be happy and to do the best I can within those confines.  And, for that, I'm trying to pull some lessons from my time in Denmark.

So, without further ado, Rachel's Keys to Happiness (The Danish Way):

• Don't Try to Do or Be Everything: This is completely antithetical to the UR way of life, and I know that.  I go to a school of over-achievers and the over-involved.  But from now on, I'm going to try and stick to only those things that I have the time to do and do well, rather than beating myself up for not having three majors, two minors, and being the president of six clubs.
• Don't Forget to Take Care of Yourself: I've noticed I feel a lot better about myself when I take the time to take care of myself -- to eat foods that make me feel good, drink enough water, work out.  They take up time, but I end up feeling like an entirely different person.
• Don't Judge Yourself in Comparison to Others: Thank you Jantelov.  This set of the tenets of Danish life come down to "Don't think you're better or smarter or more deserving than anyone else"...but at the same time realizing that it means you're no less of those things either.
• Don't Take Life Too Seriously: If there's one thing I really learned from the Danes, it's that when it comes to joking, nothing is off limits.  And not taking life or any one aspect of it too seriously is a struggle that I need to remind myself of on a regular basis -- but one that will ultimately leave me a lot less stressed and a lot happier.
• Don't Be Afraid to Take Some Time: Danes put off going to college longer than we do.  Danes put off marriage and kids longer than we do.  And that time to make the big decisions, I think, probably gives you some analytical distance and maturity to help make those decisions when the time is right.  I'm not as a afraid to not know RIGHT NOW what I want or need to do.
• LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS: The secret to happiness is low expectations. Seriously.

So that's the life goal right now -- live life just a bit more Danish (and embrace the happy that hopefully follows).  So I have the keys... now I just have to look for the locks.

Keyed in,
Rachel Leigh

On My Psychotic Resume

If, in addition to being one of my darling readers, you happen to be friends with me on Facebook, then you probably know that two weeks ago, I was obsessing over my resume and the fact that my job history makes NO sense.

Honestly, I blame that mostly on necessity -- I took the jobs that were available because I needed them, and I took the opportunities that were there because they were there.  So much of what they teach us in school/college these days revolves around preparing for your future: you need work experience in high school because it looks good on your college applications, then you need internships and good grades in college because they look good for graduate school.  And god forbid, you don't get that summer internship in DC because then how will you ever rise to the top of the Democratic Party and then become the youngest President in U.S. history?  And they drill this into us.  Even today, at the orientation I had to attend to study abroad in the fall, they stressed thinking about how this experience will relate to your future career plans.

Which is why I say my resume makes no sense.  There is literally NO cohesion between one entry and the next.  I've gone through 9 different jobs and internships, some paid, some unpaid.  Mostly paid.  I took a minimum wage job because I needed the money.  I took an internship for a science museum because it was offered to me.  I've been a camp counselor and an office monkey, a research intern and a writing consultant.  And I don't want to hide any of it.  Those weird jobs and internships made me who I am.  Thanks to that weird resume, I have worked alongside dinosaurs, improved my communication skills (and to some degree, my patience), learned how to decorate cakes, learned way more about the human spine than I think I ever needed to know, gotten passionate about how terrible mental health care is at highly competitive universities, learned to mine a client database, and been background checked more times than most kids my age.  I wouldn't be the potential employee I am, or the blogger I am, or the person I am if I hadn't had so many odd experiences that weren't supposed to relate to my future plans.

And so I think it's kind of messed up that there's this drive to already know what you want to do with your life and have it all figured out.  I think it's crazy that you're expected to already be set on this path and ready to go from before you even go to college.  I still have no idea what I want or how any of the crazy jobs or hobbies I've had in the past will relate to what I decide to do.  But I want to do them.  All of them.  Just because there's no way to know how they might shape who I turn out to be.

Wandering, but not lost,
Rachel Leigh

On NEDA Week

This past week was Eating Disorder Awareness Week, and Active Minds (which I have definitely talked about before) as a national organization supported NEDA’s mission to raise awareness of the prevalence of, and health risks associated with, eating disorders.  This led to an interesting dialogue with one of my friends, whose first reaction (well, second, after he offered to buy me curly fries) was that he was tired of everyone saying that society is the problem.

(image credit: National Eating Disorders Association, 2009)

I mean, don’t get me wrong, society’s image of what people should look like is really screwed up.  The media does put up these generally-unattainable, Photoshop-happy photos and images of girls with waists the size of pill bottles and men with muscles larger than their heads.  And, fun fact, because these images are disseminated into society, these highly unrealistic expectations of normality ­become what people perceive as “normal.”  And, for the love of god, do not get me started on Barbie unless you want the same regurgitated list of fun facts about what a little girl’s first toy does to her sense of body image.

And yeah, the media’s presentation of body image has a lot to do with the development of eating disorders.  But it’s not like we deal with it exactly right either.  Because then the first response is always “you’re perfect just the way you are,” which is absolutely true for a lot of people.  But the United States IS facing an obesity epidemic, and that’s not healthy, either.  Obesity leads to diabetes, heart disease, cancer, and a whole other host of serious medical problems, and that’s not good.

The problem is that in both cases, the focus is on image and not health.  There are healthy and safe ways to lose weight, get in shape, build muscle mass, etc.  But the emphasis on the one hand is that those ways won’t have the same drastic change to your image that disordered eating or over-exercising will.  But on the other hand, emphasizing that everyone is perfect is again about an image.  All bodies are beautiful, I will absolutely agree – the human body is an amazing and beautiful thing, regardless of its size or shape.  But beauty and perfection aren’t the same thing.  But if you’re trying to change things about it, it should be because you want to be healthy, not because you want to look different.

A healthy mindset is all about loving your body because it’s YOUR body and it’s an absolute miracle regardless of how it looks…but loving your body means taking care of it, staying in shape, treating it right, and giving it what it needs.  I’m all for self-improvement, but only if it’s healthy.

Yours (with thighs that touch),

Rachel Leigh