On R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I've been thinking a lot about respect recently.  It started with a video about the influence of teachers and made me think about why I respect those who have taught me and why others fail to respect them.  I've thought about respect for feelings and respect for boundaries.  I've thought very deeply about respect for king and country (or, well, I mean, I don't live in a country with a king, but I think you know where I'm going with that).

I've thought about what it takes to earn my respect.  If you do not treat me like a child, I will respect you as an equal who deserves the adult they have deigned to acknowledge.  If you accept that I have clear boundaries -- physically, emotionally, psychologically -- then I will respect that their are lines that you may also not want me to cross.

But those are the things it takes to earn my respect.  And I've also started to wonder if that, too, is a flawed concept.  Because in expecting you to respect those needs, the only reason I can cite is that I am a full, complex human being, deserving of respect.  But then so is everyone else: full, complex human beings who, while I may not understand their positions, have reasons and origins as complex as mine and just as deserving of being respectfully heard out.

And, I suppose, what I've come to is something of a middle.  On the one hand, I feel like there are positions and opinions undeserving of respect.  On the other, however, people are not simply their views and opinions.

What I guess I'm trying to say is that, while I have always seen respect as something earned, I'm beginning to question if that's the right way of seeing things.  Does respect for a person have to entail respect for their beliefs or choices?  If not, are there people undeserving of respect?

I'd be lying if I said I knew.

Thoughtfully yours,
Rachel Leigh

So I may have just left this discussion called "The Faces of Feminism," which was this talk about the definition of feminism and people's experiences with feminism in their everyday lives.  And by "may have," I definitely mean "did."  I almost feel like I need to be apologetic when I get serious on this blog, because it seems like most of my darling readers prefer when I'm just talking about something completely ridiculous.  Honestly, those are more fun to write.

But anyway, I think what stood out to me the most was this idea that there are so many different personal definitions of feminism (and, as a result, so many different kinds of feminists), and that this really stems from the fact that the ways people come to identify as feminist are all actually pretty personal and unique journeys.

If you remember (which I wouldn't blame you if you didn't...some days I don't remember what I ate for breakfast (spoiler alert: I usually sleep through it)), I did a post way back when I started this blog about why I self-identify as a Democrat.  I guess this is kind of my reasons for identifying as a feminist?  We'll see.

I'm sure my story begins somewhere along the lines with my beliefs about sexual and domestic violence.  The two for me are completely inseparable, and I think, to a large extent, that's really what shapes my personal views of feminism.  It also doesn't help that I'm a philosophy minor and an absolute freak about ethical philosophy.  I think my views on pretty much everything are inextricably tied to this idea that people are autonomous, unique, and incomprehensible, and that these characteristics alone make you deserving of being treated like a human being and no less than anyone else.  I'm a feminist, honestly, because I think no one has a right to make anyone an object, for any reason.

I'm not even sure how to feel about the idea of the word "feminism."  I think maybe it scares people off?  Honestly, I would never deny being a feminist, but I more often identify as an ethicist than a feminist because, for me, it's not about gender, or race, or sexual orientation, or socioeconomic status, because those are all just (to some extent) arbitrary and artificial categories that are super-imposed over the larger issue and, honestly, cloud it a lot of the time.  You have a right to your body, to your opinion, to earn fair compensation for your work, to speak and act freely, to love and be loved as you see fit not in virtue of how you identify but merely on the grounds that you're human, and that being human means that there are things about you which no one else can ever fully understand, control, or consume.  It's not about being different...or even the same...it's about not attempting to categorize the things you can't ever fully understand, and not being able to give or deny rights to someone on the grounds of the things you don't understand.

adjfkldjfkljdklfj,
Rachel Leigh

On Metablogging (Again)/On Elitists

People who complain about facebook on facebook irritate me. If it really annoys you that people post about their lives on facebook, then what possibly justifies your posting to complain about it? I recognize that you might find the constant status updates annoying. You might be annoyed that I posted a facebook event to try and convince people to come play in the rain with me. You might find it all a bit trite and obnoxious. I respect that.

But if you are annoyed that people post their every thought on the internet and on facebook for you to read, then do not complain about it by posting on the internet for every person you know to read. That makes you look like an elitist, a hypocrite, and just straight up like a bitch. We give as little of a crap about your not giving a crap as you do about the things you're complaining about. I get it. You don't care about my life. So delete your facebook or remove me as a friend so you don't have to read about it. That is of no concern to me. But do not bitch to the world at large about the fact that you don't like to read the bitchings of everyone around you. We are as entitled to post on the internet as you are.

You don't understand why the internet has become a vehicle for everyone to talk about their lives and get attention for it? Aren't you inherently using the internet as a vehicle to get attention for YOUR life and for your elitist viewpoint? Screw you and everyone like you. You are the reason people hate hipsters.

Fuming,
Rachel Leigh

On Those Intolerant....Liberals?

My liberal friends: the Tea Party Movement has ruined us.

Now, before you go and get all confused on me, I am not saying that Tea Partiers have ruined America or ruined society...because I don't think they have. I think the Tea Partiers have turned us into monsters. Hateful, intolerant monsters.

I'll admit to having used the term "Tea Baggers" to describe the Tea Party Movement. It's shorter than saying "The Tea Party Movement," and I've admitted that I've gotten angry enough about things that have happened that I've used it as a derogatory term.

But when I realize I'm doing it, I stop myself. The reaction to the Tea Partiers has been hateful. Yes, there are racists in the Tea Party movement. Yes, the most outspoken voices (Limbaugh, Rand Paul, Glenn Beck) are crazies. But the fact of the matter is that there are some normal people who are scared by what has happened to the country they live in and have been dwarfed by the radical right, who really just want a different option from the ones they have now.

Let's face it: the very heart of the Tea Party movement is anti-corporate and anti...big. They don't want big business. They just want to know that their peaceful, quiet lives aren't going to be controlled by things bigger than themselves. At worst, you could call that misguided.

We've made the Tea Party so radical because they're under constant attack. When a child misbehaves, you get the best results for a change in behavior by ignoring them...neither positively or negatively reinforcing their behavior. It's basic psychology. When a movement misbehaves and we respond with press coverage and intolerant hate speech, the behavior is reinforced.

Let security handle the guns at rallies. That's their job. It doesn't need to be publicized and super-politicized. Let the hate speech sit with the people who are truly hateful. The solution to face a hateful movement is not by hating those people.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said that "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." Hate cannot drive out hate. It can't. The more hate in the world, the stronger the hatred and the grudges become.

D0n't blame the problems of the world on FOX News. Don't bad mouth people just because you believe their opinions are misguided. There is still a moderate Republican. Refusing to separate the individual from the voice of the party is an intolerant mistake we can't afford to keep making.

Peace and Love,
Rachel Leigh