On "Gay or Hipster?"

I like art and music.  As such, I often find myself in places full of hipsters.  As such, when I'm at a concert, or an art show, or even just out with friends, if I see a well-dressed, reasonably attractive guy, I'm confronted with a question -- is he gay or just a hipster?  (This is not, of course, to mean that the two are mutually-exclusive.)  As such, I've decided to give you, my darling readers, a list of possible ways to tell the difference.

• If he's wearing a bow-tie:
• And looks like Doctor Who or a lumberjack: hipster.
• And looks like Blaine Anderson: probably gay.
• If he compliments your taste in music: probably a hipster.
• UNLESS it's Lady Gaga, Cher, or Madonna, in which case, probably gay.
• If he admits to appreciating Carly Rae Jepsen un-ironically: either gay or a frat boy, but definitely not a hipster
• If he's at a museum:
• With his mother: avoid at all costs.
• With his girlfriend: hipster (and likely whipped)
• With his boyfriend: gay (duh)
• If he's wearing a "SOME __ MARRY ___.  GET OVER IT." t-shirt: gay.  Or just awesome.  Or both.

And now that I've offended a good number of people, we'll end this list.  Feel free to email or comment with more ways to tell the difference, and make the lives of single girls who are attracted to well-dressed men everywhere easier.  Because in a world of Neil Patrick Harrises, Matt Bomers, Tyler Oakleys, and more, we need to stand a fighting chance.

Tune in again for "Nerd or Hipster" when I tell you how to know if that guy in the wolf t-shirt is doing so ironically or because he's a member of a one-man wolfpack.

Best of luck,
Rachel Leigh

40!

This is my fourtieth post on this here blog. I feel like that's actually a pretty decent milestone, though I find it kind of sad that it took this long to reach this milestone.

So right now, my psyche is in a state of conflict, because the solemnity I felt this afternoon after my trip to the Gay Community Center of Richmond for an exhibit on Nazi Persecution of Homosexuals has been contrasted by the music I have recently been rocking out to, courtesy of:
http://www.onlythefinest.org/
http://www.camelbackmusic.com/
http://www.dirtymexicanlemonade.com/

On the one hand, the trip to the GCCR for the Holocaust exhibit was amazing and sobering. Homosexuals were persecuted under Paragraph 175, a law put in place under Kaiser Wilhelm, which made "indecency" between two men a crime punishable by imprisonment (a repeated theme throughout the exhibit was the fact that lesbianism was virtually ignored by this statute). One of the things that I found the most disturbing about the entire exhibit was the focus on rigid, old-fashioned gender roles under the Nazi regime. They felt the need to reinforce the strength and masculinity of the German man, and blamed homosexuality and feminism for the declining birthrate and declining status of Germany in the world post-war. In the Weimar Republic, both the feminist movement and the gay community in Germany made huge strides, and the actions of the SA party in the Holocaust set both movements back decades. According to both the exhibit and the head of the Student Alliance for Sexual Diversity here at Richmond, the burning of the library of Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld, a prominent sexologist in Germany before WWII, set the gay rights movement back almost a century.

...Paragraph 175 remained on the books in Germany until 1969. Similar laws are still on the books, though deemed unconstitutional, in states like Virginia and Texas today.

On the other hand, the bubbly, upbeat, dance-y music I've been listening to for the last few days (weeks) is making it really hard to maintain the sense of solemn respect I had leaving the exhibition.

Conflictually yours,
Rachel Leigh

On the LGBT Suicides and On Harrassment

I'm sure you've heard about it. Recently, the LGBT community and its allies have been up in arms about the group of 7 recent suicides that were the result of bullying and harrassment that they faced because of their sexuality. As well it should be. When people like Billy Lucas and Tyler Clementi are pushed to suicide by the harrassment they face at the hands of their peers, the community SHOULD be riled up.

I love the fact that people have been so responsive about this problem. Richmond held a candlelight vigil last Wednesday night. There have been huge surges in public service annoucements (including a beautiful project on YouTube called It Gets Better, which features prominent gay figures from both on and off of YouTube letting kids who are facing harrassment and confusion now know that it does get easier). Thousands of people plan to wear purple in honor of the lives that have been lost and in solidarity with those facing similar problems still. I am proud to know that my friends and family have been public about their concern for the problem.

But here's my issue, and the reason I'm posting. This is not, first and foremost, a gay rights issue. Yes, the LGBT community has jumped on this problem because it's clearly a crisis. But when a large number of kids are killed or driven to suicide because of bullying and harrassment they face, for any reason, the crisis is bigger than any one community. This is an issue that comes down to a very basic fact: for all the anti-bullying programs in schools, all the information about cyberbullying, all the discussions of fairness, tolerance, and respect, people are still capable of being so horrible to one another that death seems like a better option than continuing to deal with it.

This should not be a gay rights cause. This should be the cause of every parent, friend, sibling, teacher, and colleague of someone who ever faced harrassment that made their life hard to deal with. Yes, Billy Lucas committed suicide because he was harrassed for being gay. The fact of the matter is that bullying-related suicides are unfortunately common and, if anything, the focus on the gay suicides recently has dwarfed the importance and the tragedy of a lot of other suicides which stemmed from harrassment. My heart goes out to the families and friends of the boys who took their own lives because they were harrassed for their sexuality...and to those of every other harrassment-related suicide. Your loss is something I cannot even fathom, and I hope it never has to happen to anyone again.

--Rachel