On Admitting Mistakes

I'm sure you've heard about the Kickstarter crap that blew up in the last couple of days.  Namely, that Kickstarter was funding a "seduction guide" which, at heart, boiled down to a guide to dating which advocated sexual harrassment and sexual assault.  My only note on this part of the issue is this: under no circumstances should you ever assume that touching someone or resorting to "physical escalation" is okay without first actually obtaining consent.  Some people don't even like being touched, let alone being pulled onto a stranger's lap, having their hair pulled, or any number of the displays of "dominance" this guide suggests.  Do not act first and ask questions later -- "physical escalation" without freely-given consent isn't "awesome" or sexy; it's sexual assault.

What I'm posting about is something that Microsoft did earlier in the week and Kickstarter did today: admitting they're wrong.  In the aftermath of a horrible backlash to the announcement of the DRM requirements on the new Xbox One console, Microsoft very publicly admitted their mistake and, after advice from gamers and users, removed the DRM from the console release.  And today, Kickstarter posted a public apology on their blog and made a $25,000 donation to RAINN in an attempt to reconcile their bad decision to fund the project mentioned above.

Is there a skeptical part of me that thinks these actions were only driven by the need to keep potential investors and users from refusing to spend money?  Absolutely.  But do I think there's something very brave and admirable about a company publicly admitting that they "done goofed"?  Absolutely.

My family and many of my friends will be the first to tell you that I am horrible about admitting when I'm wrong.  The thing is that many people (I have even heard this about the two previously-mentioned incidents) consider apologizing or admitting mistakes as a sign of weakness.  Which I don't understand.  The mistake may have been a weakness, but admitting that it happened and trying to make up for it is not.  If anything, trying to hide from those mistakes is a sign of cowardice, which is probably an even larger weakness.  And the ability to listen to criticism, change your course of action, and come forward and say "our first idea wasn't great and we're trying to do better" is not only admirable -- it's something I want to get better at.  Everybody has faults and makes mistakes, and it's about time we start respecting people for admitting they were wrong.

Faultily yours,
Rachel Leigh

On Perspective 2 (or Fighting Real Problems Instead of Making Up New Ones)

This post might very well lose me friends.  But I just calls 'em like I sees 'em, and this isn't something I take lightly.

I have never backed down from the idea that I am a feminist -- I'm kind of one of those people of the belief that if you or someone you care about identifies as a woman, than you have no right or sense to not support things that would help make the lives of women everywhere better.

But maybe I haven't been clear on my views towards those people who calls themselves activists who are, in reality, looking for something to complain about.  I came across this tumblog that literally blasted everything from meat eaters to a child abuse awareness campaign.  The campaign in question won the Gold Lion award at Cannes and depicts the cycle of child abuse, showing each child being abused and eventually growing into their abuser.  Actually, you can see them here: http://www.buzzfeed.com/copyranter/powerful-child-abuse-ads.  And why was she targeting this campaign?  Because the verbal abuse image depicts a woman yelling at her children.

She said the campaign disgusted her -- not the acts portrayed as a part of it -- but the fact that it only depicted a woman yelling, which she thought fueled the "nagging" stereotypes about women.  Statistically, it might have made sense to make the abusers in all three images men (each image represented a form of domestic abuse -- sexual, physical, and verbal) because an overwhelming percentage of abuse is male-dominated, but doing so would have been unfair to both men and women because, due to the structure of the campaign, it would eliminate the possibility of women as perpetrators or victims, and they do, in fact, fill both roles, more often than we'd like to believe.  And, unfortunately, women are far more likely to perpetrate verbal abuse than any other kind of domestic abuse -- and would it really have been better for the global image of women to have the only woman in the campaign be a sexual predator or a violent monster?  Or simply to put a woman as a passive victim?

This is just one case, among many, I'm afraid, where people get so caught up in the politics of activism that they forget what's actually important.  This campaign should disgust you, but not for it's content.  What it depicts, and the fact that child abuse is still a prevalent issue in America, one that's still not talked about because it's taboo, which creates a self-perpetuating cycle of violence as children who feel mistreated grow up to mistreat others.  Your need to be confrontational, to take an issue with everyone just so you have something to say -- has made you blind to the real issue, which makes you unable to do anything to stop it.

So until you start complaining about the real issues and stop letting the small details distract you from the problem at hand, I am still going to take issue with the way you handle things like this.  Your loss of perspective is terrifying.

(infinitesimally) yours,
Rachel Leigh

On Being Tall

I have spent the last couple of weeks using the phrase "#tallgirlproblems" (no, I do not pronounce the hashtag) to describe my life.  As a 5'11" female, I was happy to find a Twitter account that sympathized with my Tall Girl Problems.

What is a Tall Girl Problem?  Like a #firstworldproblem or #collegeproblem, these problems are problems that exist only because I am in a comfortable enough position to complain about them.  Tall Girl Problems are problems that exist solely in virtue of absurd height.

#TallGirlProblems

Never being able to find pants that fit.

They do not make pants that are made to fit legs that make up 2/3 of your height.  Everything I own fits like a pair of floods.  Also, good luck wearing knee-high boots or knee socks.  They're great if, by "knee," you mean "awkwardly squeezing your mid-calf."

Not knowing how to walk in heels.

5'11" + 3" heels = ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING.  As such, I have never learned how to walk in heels, which is great for those rare occasions when you actually have to wear them.  When my ankle is in three pieces on the floor because I can't balance in a pair of heels, you will understand.

Constantly being asked to get things for shorter friends.

Can you reach that?  Can you just grab that?  I can't reach...help me out?

Constantly being asked to get things for strangers.

Can you get that down off the top shelf?

Being taller than your prom date...and your Dad.

I wish I were kidding.  Love you, Dad.

Nobody gets it.

You know what's great?  Complaining about your incredibly inconvenient height, and having everyone respond "But you're, like, MODEL-tall."  As if that makes it better.  It's actually kind of irritating.

Fellow tall girls, I love you. I delight in your presence. But if I accidentally elbow one more person because my arms are so freaking long, I might consider donating my lower-legs to the vertically-challenged.

#TallGirlProblems,
Rachel Leigh