On Aunt Flo and Things We're Not Supposed to Talk About

We're going to talk about something that's going to alienate my male readers for a bit.

Periods.

And that is precisely why we're going to talk about them.  Because we don't talk about them.  Because half the world's population has them or has had them.  And they're perfectly natural and normal and, y'know, actually a good thing for your body, and women are expected to treat them like a dirty little secret.

I watched a video the other day about stupid things women have to deal with, and one of the things it mentioned was having to sneak a tampon to the bathroom.  I'll be the first to admit, I'm embarrassed to have to buy "feminine hygiene products"...especially from a male clerk.  But my question becomes why?  Why is there a taboo against a natural, healthy, normal thing?  Just because it's a little gross?  Yeah, well, so are farts, but it's something you can't control and, I've noticed, most guys don't feel bad about doing in public anyway.

Now, I am by no means saying you have to love your period.  Is it a great sign that everything's hunky-dory in your endocrine system?  Absolutely.  In fact, it's a great indicator that you're eating right, your ladybits are all in order, and that you're not too stressed, as any of those can affect the frequency or heaviness of your period.  But, let's be serious, periods can really suck.

Aside from having to spend several days crafting schemes to somehow get everything you need into the bathroom without anyone noticing, there's all the crazy stuff that happens to your body.  I had a (male, obviously) friend once tell me that there has been no medical link found between PMS hormones and mood swings (and that therefore the mood swings are all in your head).

My response was to look him in the eyes and tell him that, even if that were true, there are plenty of not-in-our-head reasons for mood swings on your period.  PMS hormones cause bloating, fatigue, bizarre food cravings, headaches, breast sensitivity, cramps, nausea, and a whole host of unfortunate physical happenings.  So, no, maybe my emotions are not directly impacted by the change in hormones.  But tell me how you feel when you're sore and tired, feeling fat because your clothes don't fit right, and still can't stop yourself from craving potato chips.  Like I said, periods suck.

But just because they suck and are maybe a little bit gross doesn't mean we shouldn't talk about them.  It's just another one of those things we're taught not to talk about because it's not polite -- but then how do you know what a warning sign is for when something isn't right?  Period problems can get really out of hand, and it's important that we be okay enough as a society that when a girl's health is at risk, she isn't ashamed to talk about the fact that it's her time of the month.  Also, it would be nice to not have to bring my purse to the bathroom every day for a week.  Thanks.

Your Friend (the PMS Tiger (great meme, look it up)),
Rachel Leigh

On Things You Shouldn't Do in Public

Darling readers, if you're friends with me on Facebook or, god forbid, follow me on Twitter (in which case, I'm sorry), you know that I have a really low tolerance for people who can't seem to understand simple rules about what is and is not acceptable in public places.

Today, I was on the bus, which is a place that I find myself a few times a year as I travel back and forth between my home outside of Philly and my home-away-from-home in Richmond.  I could rant for days about the stupid things people do on the bus, but I think I'll cut it down to a few things that I really think should never happen on public transportation.

1. If there are children or old people on the bus, I don't want to hear you cursing somebody out or dropping the F-bomb every other word.  It's just not classy and, in addition, is offensive to old people and probably scarring to little kids.
2. Headphones have a purpose.  Their purpose is to allow you to hear your music/movie/video game without making everyone else have to hear it too.  Use them.  Also, if you are using them and I can still hear your music, you're using them wrong.  And probably causing serious aural damage while you're at it.  Good job.
3. There are things that I'm pretty sure you should just NEVER do in public.  Watching porn comes to mind.  Or, if you're the man behind me on the bus, consider that the bus is probably not the best place to conduct what only could have been a drug deal and a booty call.  Not smart, not classy.

I mean, I can't be the only person in the world who doesn't expect to be offended for an entire six hour bus ride.

Stay Classy, Public Transit,
Rachel Leigh

On Emily Post and the Antiquated Art of Etiquette

Sitting outside on the grass today was a challenge. As spring has sprung, I have gotten into the habit that many girls my age adopt around this time of year: embracing the skirt and dress (sans tights or stockings) as the most fun and weather-friendly clothing option.


Needless to say, when one is wearing a skirt, her sitting options are severely limited. Especially if she is insistent on sitting on the ground. Basic etiquette says a young lady wearing a skirt must sit up, on a chair or other raised platform, with knees crossed. Let us return to our dear ground-sitting friend who wishes to be comfortable on the groud. Her options seem to be as follows:

1. Become a nuisance by stretching her legs out completely in front of her.


2. Risk the hopefully-avoided panty-flash by sitting either cross-legged or with her knees up in front of her.


3. Take a page from the Marilyn Monroe Book of Narrowly-Avoided Social Faux Pas, and use her hands to strategically hold down her skirt.

Why is it, though, that in 2010, we feel the need to characterize all of these sitting positions as "un-ladylike" and un-befitting of a young lady? I blame Emily Post. Born in 1873, and formally published as a "philosopher" of all things proper in 1922, Emily Post has been the go-to source for good manners for almost the last century. Though she died in 1960, the Emily Post Institute continues to release guides for proper manners and etiquette in social settings, at work, and even online.

It makes perfect sense, I suppose, to allow the 19th-century guidelines of someone who was born a decade after the Civil War to dictate the 21st-century Netiquette. After all, when much of interpersonal communication is now done over a screen, it makes sense to base its laws and rules on a set of standards established in the early days of the telephone.

Personally, I think Emily Post's world has been dead for years now.

When Playboy bunnies, rather than being hidden in paper bags in the back shelves of skeevy magazine racks, have their own television shows watched by over 2 million people, and the stars of Disney movies can continue their careers after naked photos of them have been leaked to the internet, it's time to stop judging girls by 1920's standards of propriety. So what if I want to wear a skirt without sitting like I have something shameful to hide? I'm not suggesting that girls should go around showing off their lady-bits to everyone they see. I'm just saying maybe it's time we stop judging girls who don't feel the need to subscribe to the old world etiquette of Emily Post.

Always lady-like (regardless of how I'm sitting),
Rachel Leigh