On Secrets

This might seem a bit contradictory to my previous post. Surprisingly, though, it isn't, and once I outline my point, I'll explain why they make sense together.

A lot of the response to the views expressed in my last post were a little bit upset, I feel, because I didn't stress that honesty is always the best policy. I don't believe in secrets. I think secrets hurt the people they are kept from and do irreparable damage to the person keeping them. I rarely do keep secrets, and when I do, 99 times out of 100, it's because the secret isn't really mine to share.

For example, there was an inside joke between one of my best friends and I last year which revolved around a mutual secret. When people wanted to understand the joke, I would have explained it myself, not really caring about what a creep it made me look like. I have been through worse. This secret, however, was not merely mine to share. Because everyone who knew of the inside joke knew it was a mutual secret, if I had spread my secret, I would also have spread hers, and I cannot knowingly do that to someone I care about. Their secrets will always be safe.

Back to the point at hand, though. I think secrets are painful and altogether stupid. There shouldn't be anything that you need to keep a secret, because if you need to do so, you're clearly ashamed of it. I really don't think you should ever do anything you know you're going to be ashamed of.

How does this not contradict my policy on when honesty becomes selfish? Well, simple. The secret shouldn't be there in the first place. Those secrets gain the power to hurt people by being kept secret, and they amplify in power over time. There shouldn't be a secret to keep from someone you care about, but if there happens to be one, the longer it has been a secret, the more vital it becomes that it stay secret.

Secretly yours,
Rachel Leigh