On Emotional Masochism (and why continuing the cycle is selfish)

Have you ever noticed how there are some people who seem to enjoy their own misery? It seems like someone who was nearly halfway as miserable as they say they are would go out of their way to avoid the people or things or places that upset them, yet they appear to want nothing more than to repeatedly wallow in things they know will do nothing more than depress them.

I just don't get it. Do people not realize that continuing to pick at scabs does not help them heal. It's not like the treatment for the flu is more flu virus or the treatment of post-war PTSD is to put people back in combat. You heal better and faster if you don't just keep poking the same old wounds. If you insist on doing that, there's a part of you (a part big enough to overcome your urge for emotional self-preservation) that for some reason (guilt, self-disgust, or irrational belief that things will suddenly change) wants to continue to suffer. And if that's the case, you have no right to be depressed.

When you're at the point when you're hurting or upsetting the people around you by your bad mood [which you will, because people who care about you are always going to be impacted by your emotions (you treat people worse, are less personable, and generally drain good moods when you are depressed)], it becomes selfish to continue to wallow in your own misery. To quote a terrible commercial, "Who does depression hurt? Everyone." Everyone who comes into contact with a depressed person suffers, so continuing to depress yourself when you could very easily desist the behavior which causes the depression is incredibly unfair to anyone who cares about you.

Cynically yours,
Rachel Leigh